Haiku Grace Journey

Standard

The Fall

Heart falls–glass vase. . . down
Droplets and shards splay with force
Dreams, with them, splatter.

imageThe Ache

Heart aches–lost in gloom
Dull and flat to spite the sun
Hopes, defied and slain.

imageThe Hardening

Heart hardens–dark shroud
Surrounds, squeezes, tender shoot
Shriveled, left to die.
image
The Gasp
Heart gasps–reflexive,
Violently as from sleep
Final thrust for life.
image
 The Cry
Heart cries–help me, please–
Sobs deeply heaving, need dire;
Light enters, here, now.
image
The Nurturing
Heart heals–sunrise warms,
Kissing snowdrops, melt to tears
warming buds unfurl.
image
The Restoration
Heart rejoices–Grace is!
Joy and life fill broken heart
Carry on to love.
image
©Joan T. Warren

DPchallenge this week, to write five Haiku (or more) about anything. I choose to write this series, a journey of grace.

10 responses »

    • Thanks for your feedback, and for taking the time to read these thoughts of mine. Here’s what I’m thinking in response:
      The first “feeling” I started with was a memory, of a time my dreams were not just dashed, but splattered or splayed. Then I began the Haiku, and the past replayed as though it were the present. I left the change of tense to give that sense of how our past and present overlap in the world of emotions. Perhaps, though, it creates instead a grammatical stumblingblock, and needs revision.

      The second, despite the sun, is a deliberate choice that represents a defiance of sorts. Almost to say “to spite the sun.” Is there a reason you like under the sun better?

      Like

      • Oh, “to spite the sun” would turn it around, add such flavor. Very nice.

        Of course I understand – and respect – the process and reasons that lead to the product on “paper”. But obviously we also negotiate the final decision of wording given how we will come across to the reader. We can mean X and had said it for (the reason of) Y, but if the most common reading will end up being Z, we might want to rethink.

        Not to try to convince. Just responding to your response. =)

        I would never impose anything on the writer. Just my two cents to take or toss.

        Like

  1. Pingback: Weekly Writing Challenge: Haiku / Outdoors | A mom's blog

I would love to hear your responses and appreciate lively discussion! Please be patient as your comment comes to me first for approval before appearing below. Thank you!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s