Haiku Grace Journey

Hi, I’m Joan. I write about building healthier life and relationships.

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The Fall

Heart falls–glass vase. . . down

Droplets and shards splay with force

Dreams, with them, splatter.

The Ache

Heart aches–lost in gloom

Dull and flat to spite the sun

Hopes, defied and slain.

The Hardening

Heart hardens–dark shroud

Surrounds, squeezes, tender shoot

Shriveled, left to die.

The Gasp

Heart gasps–reflexive,

Violently as from sleep

Final thrust for life.

The Cry

Heart cries–help me, please–

Sobs deeply heaving, need dire;

Light enters, here, now.

The Nurturing

Heart heals–sunrise warms,

Kissing snowdrops, melt to tears

warming buds unfurl.

The Restoration

Heart rejoices–Grace is!

Joy and life fill broken heart

Carry on to love.

DPchallenge this week, to write five Haiku (or more) about anything. I choose to write this series, a journey of grace.

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10 responses to “Haiku Grace Journey”

Holistic Wayfarer

April 2, 2014 at 2:03 pm

What do you think of splatter or shatter in the first one (active voice)? And in The Ache “under the sun”?

Thank you for sharing your heart with us.

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1. Joan T Warren
  
  April 2, 2014 at 8:54 pm
  
  Thanks for your feedback, and for taking the time to read these thoughts of mine. Here’s what I’m thinking in response:
  The first “feeling” I started with was a memory, of a time my dreams were not just dashed, but splattered or splayed. Then I began the Haiku, and the past replayed as though it were the present. I left the change of tense to give that sense of how our past and present overlap in the world of emotions. Perhaps, though, it creates instead a grammatical stumblingblock, and needs revision.
  
  The second, despite the sun, is a deliberate choice that represents a defiance of sorts. Almost to say “to spite the sun.” Is there a reason you like under the sun better?
  
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  1. Holistic Wayfarer
    
    April 2, 2014 at 9:03 pm
    
    Oh, “to spite the sun” would turn it around, add such flavor. Very nice.
    
    Of course I understand – and respect – the process and reasons that lead to the product on “paper”. But obviously we also negotiate the final decision of wording given how we will come across to the reader. We can mean X and had said it for (the reason of) Y, but if the most common reading will end up being Z, we might want to rethink.
    
    Not to try to convince. Just responding to your response. =)
    
    I would never impose anything on the writer. Just my two cents to take or toss.
    
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    1. Joan T Warren
      
      April 2, 2014 at 9:24 pm
      
      You think so? I wanted to say to spite the sun but thought it might be too odd. I’ll try these suggestions out and see how they fare!
      
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      1. Holistic Wayfarer
        
        April 2, 2014 at 9:46 pm
        
        Step back, come back
        with a fresh eye.
        
        -)
        
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standinginthestorm

November 30, 2013 at 7:05 pm

Hakiu Friday (I know its Saturday)

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alainafae

November 30, 2013 at 12:10 am

I like this series of haiku as a whole, but the first was definitely my favorite. “The Fall” was artfully composed. Thank you for posting 🙂

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Weekly Writing Challenge: Haiku / Outdoors | A mom's blog

November 29, 2013 at 11:24 am

[…] Haiku Grace Journey | Joan T. Warren […]

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Khana

November 29, 2013 at 10:47 am

Hi Joan, I really love “The Nurturing” , beautiful, positive imagery 🙂

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1. Joan T Warren
  
  November 29, 2013 at 10:49 am
  
  Thank you, yes, it makes the suffering worth going through, and taken together empowers us to have a richer life to share.
  
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