It slips away. It’s of the essence. It marches on. It will tell. It heals all things. It is the great thief. It is not your friend. It is relevant. It flies. It is nigh. It is money. It is short. It’s running out. It is up.
Do we need more time, or does the longing for it speak to our hearts, reflecting the place where there is no time?
(Yes, cliches. We writers have been told not to use them. Yet, the effect of streaming all-too-familiar cliches can be calming, amusing and even thought-provoking. Did I achieve that with this “time-saving” post? Engage with me in comments, yay or nay)
What’s the biggest risk you’d like to take — but haven’t been able to?
As a teen I took plenty of risks. I bet you did, too. Crossing the traffic too close? Smoking pot? Unprotected sex? Riding in a car with a drunk driver? Jumping off a cliff into murky water? Hitchhiking across Europe?
Who would have guessed that the Bible endorses risk-taking? Yep. Here’s one place: “Those who are young, go ahead, take the risks, follow your heart and go after your vision, but know there are consequences to your choices. There’s no sense worrying too much about it, for youth and vigor soon vanish, like a wisp of smoke.” -Paraphrase mine, from Ecclesiastes 11: 9-10
Opportunities are brief, and consequences are real.
Some of our teen friends died from risky living. Some of our friends’ or family’s lives went down the drain from risky living.
Those of us still alive probably learned to be more careful in our choices. Maybe that caution turned into downright fear of consequences, leaving us stuck following rigid rules as if we could prevent all ill by being good, and fencing us off from any real childlike joy or fun.
The letter of the apostle Paul to the Romans warns about choices, too. He described some of the most heinous results of poor choices, like being “filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. . . envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. . . they invent ways of doing evil. . . no understanding, no fidelity, no love, no mercy. . .” -Romans 1: 29-31, NIV.
This is the stuff of the most wicked villains, the most hateful antagonists from novels, movies and television. Who comes to mind as you read these character traits?
But each was the result of one poor choice leading to another, eventually ruining the person.
Those wicked characters have one thing in common, according to Paul. Somewhere along the line, each villain made the poor choice of exchanging “the truth about God for a lie.” (Romans 1: 25)
Lies like this, maybe:
“If God was real/cared, He wouldn’t let ______ happen.”
“God sends people to hell.”
“God’s no fun.”
“God wants to control us.”
These are lies we may have believed without really knowing Him. I’ve had people believe lies about me without really knowing me. Have you?
If we get to know our Creator, we find He is caring, He’s given all to rescue us, He’s opened His arms to us, even made a way for us to renew our minds with truth and goodness and love. From that sweet spiritual relationship, we can enjoy all that is good, like laughter and kindness and loving relationships and heroic acts of helping others.
We can develop our character to become a protagonist in our story. We can make a positive difference in a world of free will. . . the world where we all get to choose, where we’re not robots, where we’re living, thinking, real people, and where yes, evil exists, but so does good.
Becoming the heroic protagonist in a story starts with a moment of truth. It’s that spark in every storyline where the hero’s fumbling attempts to achieve their goal runs flat up against their fatal flaw. They finally decide to risk it all. Courage propels them forward to face the unknown, and it all comes together to either win—or lose.
Underneath, in our heart of hearts, the risk is to believe, or at least start to believe, the truth about God. Which is simple—God is Love. God loves me. He lives in me. I’m the one He’s calling to make that difference. To right that wrong. To do the right thing, no matter the cost.
Is that a risk you’re willing to take? Are you able to take that risk? What would it cost you?
Have you ever said no to the cost? What was the cost of saying no?
What is the biggest risk you’d like to take, but haven’t—yet? And why?
Let’s talk about it in comments, below.
For a closer look at digging up faulty beliefs and replacing then with freeing truths, check out this guided journal:
What do you think? Are healthy relationships a myth, an ideal, or achievable?
What ARE healthy relationships, anyway?
No decent novel anywhere–ever–features a protagonist with ideal relationships. Think of it. How many of us would have continued reading if Elizabeth Bennet reserved judgement and Darcy began in humility? Or if Pip and Estella spent their lives together in wedded bliss?
We all have drama. It plays with our souls, hinders us from our goals, and leaves us feeling like life is just a series of paying tolls.
(yes, silly rhyme intended)
At some point, though, we get to the point in our lives–just as in fiction–that conflict and drama forces our character to develop. We need to face our internal antagonist. Reckon with the bastard. Make the tough choice.
That point is our “Come to Jesus” point. That is when we realize our failures, internal and external, and take responsibility for them. Either we flail, wither and die, or seize the power of God to buoy us in our weakness and rise up to take the required heroic action.
Okay, you say, personal redemption. But what does that have to do with healthy relationships?
Everything, I say.
Because we simply can’t truly love until we recognize our own vulnerabilities, weaknesses and failures, take responsibility for them, and get the help we need to press forward, to develop, mature and live in humility and respect. We can’t expect healthy relationships with anyone until we develop a healthy relationship with ourselves. And a healthy relationship with ourselves is a humble one, in which the Higher Power is the One that loves, that forgives, that empowers. At least that’s the only way I’ve ever found. Maybe you have another experience?
Healthy relationships are real, but they are not always ideal. We don’t always get to see them in action, because they’re far more boring than novels and movies. They are the relationships that provide a listening ear, a loving massage for sore muscles, a meal for a hungry stomach at the end of an ordinary day, and help with the dishes. They also talk through their conflicts and commit to finding acceptable compromises and mutual support. They bear with one another, sometimes for years on end, believing and hoping and praying for what’s needed. Sometimes they never see it come to fruition, but they grow to love one another even more through it. But sometimes they part ways with irreconcilable differences and needs.
Wait, what?
Yes. Sometimes the healthiest choice for a relationship is distance. Maybe for a time, maybe for good. Because sometimes the conflict is just too difficult to resolve. Healthy relationships don’t force compatibility where there is none. They learn to accept and respect their differences, but choose to put away the practice of rubbing one another’s wounds with abrasive expectation that they meet one another’s idea of what they should be, or need them, to be.
Tell us. Does any of this resonate with you? Have you ended up choosing distance in a relationship that just didn’t work well? Have you learned to resolve conflict and mend an unhealthy relationship? Did years of separation from a loved one result in mutual growth and reconnection? Has God buoyed your flailing spirit and carried you into a healthier relationship with yourself? Share it here in the comments, please do! Or link to where you’ve blogged about such an experience so we can go read it on your spot.
If you need a little help getting started or progressing on the journey (and who doesn’t), click here for a guided journal, and let us know how it helped.
Did you know you can create your own QR code without having to purchase it? Totally. Free.
At first search, it seems everyone wants to sell you one, which is absolutely not necessary! Now, if you need an ISBN for your product, that will cost you, but for QR codes, there is no required purchase. It is easy to do yourself, and it only takes a few minutes. With a free (or inexpensive) account with Canva.com, start on the left side bar and scan down to apps, and search by entering QR code generator. Choose the free one that pops up. It leads you through the steps, asking the web address you want the code to take people to, and then it creates it for you. Bam! There it is! Canva saves it for you, and all you have to do is choose download to save it to your computer or phone. Then you can paste it like a picture, wherever you want!
I made one for my recent release and also for one to lead readers to my blog. They really came in handy for posting on social media and also on posters, cards and bookmarks for events like book signings and such.
Just thought I’d share this with you, my readers, because so many of you are writing, too. Here’s a sample of how I used mine. Check it out with your phone cam and see if it works!
As my faithful readers know, my forthcoming novel, A Bent Tree Path, is taking a long time (understatement of the century) to prepare! It’s with beta readers now, and I recently finished the cover (stay tuned). So, just to delay things a bit more, I decided to take a side trip. I created a guided journal for inner healing, partly because it will be a great accompaniment to the novel–which is sure to stir up all your deep-seated emotions and make you want to not only cry but also get healing for yourself–and partly to gain experience publishing on Amazon KDP with a smaller piece. Here’s a brief view of how things went the last few weeks:
I opened an account at Canva.com
I created the document pages, playing with Canva’s cool text boxes, graphics and such. Fun!
I downloaded the document as a pdf with bleed and flattening
I opened a free account with Amazon KDP, navigated to Bookshelf and clicked Create.
Once I read through options and uploaded the book pdf file, I received their template for dimensions and layout of the cover.
I went back to canva.com and created the book cover design by uploading the KDP template, placing pictures (used the free resize option found in my existing software to increase pixels!) and text in the right places, and then deleting the template from the design.
I downloaded the cover, saving it in as a pdf with bleed and flattening.
Once uploading this to KDP, they generate a preview. I waited, filed my nails, got a drink of water. . .
Voila! It showed up. I previewed it, making sure everything lined up within the margins. Yup.
I ordered a proof copy and waited some more. This was excrutiating; like 5 days.
I excitedly opened the box (see video of this momentous occasion in my last post)
Then I went back to step one and made corrections, repeating the process until I was happy enough to “SUBMIT”
Then I waited again.
Oops, KDP said 36 hours later, your journal is a low-content book, not a mid-content book, because it has lines for the reader to fill in.
“No!” I said in an email reply. “I put a lot of effort into the content! I didn’t just post lined paper. This is good stuff! Life-changing stuff! Did you read it or just let a computer decide?” (Okay, I didn’t exactly say it like that)
Then, realizing it was a NO REPLY sort of email, I swallowed my pride and went back to step 6, choosing “low-content book” instead, which meant adding my own ISBN and barcode (which is available at bowkers.com) to the right spot on the back cover, downloaded the new cover, and resubmitted it on KDP.
Again, waiting. It is in draft form, waiting for approval by Amazon machines/people–who knows?
I checked it three, maybe four times a day, and decided to blog this little ditty while I wait (yes, I am still waiting as I write)
And of course I’m researching more on marketing, author page, and other fun options Amazon offers and checking out beta readers at Scribophile.com
I’ll post again as soon as that book, My Road to Recovery, A 12-Week Guided Journal for Inner Healing, is approved! And I assure you, even though there are lines to fill in, because what good journal doesn’t have lines to fill in, it is not low-content. It is content that I’ve lived. It is content I’ve practiced with others. It is content that is therapist-approved. It is easy to read, and, unlike many other how-to books, it doesn’t repeat itself every other page. Those books, you know, the ones that tell you the same thing over and over again, and by the time you’re half-way through, you realize there’s no point in finishing it because you got the point on the first page? Yeah, those should be low-content books. This one is concise, reader-friendly, and oh-so helpful for anyone who is hurting inside and doesn’t quite know why. Or for anyone who knows why, like the #metoo experience, but doesn’t quite know how to work through all the pain. Because recovery isn’t just about knee surgery and addiction. Recovery is about getting back what someone else took or damaged. And that, my friends, is entirely possible. Especially if you have the Power of Love in your life, and especially if you get, and read and journal through, this book. (Sorry, had to get the plug in).
By the way, if you’d like to be a beta reader for parts of The Bent Tree Path, either comment on this post or email me. I’ll do swap beta reading for you too. I’m at jtwHeart2Heart@yahoo.com. Please don’t spam me. It will only annoy me and detract from my precious time creating books for the world. I won’t send money for your dear Aunt Sally or help you transfer your billions of dollars from India. I won’t even click to see why you sent me that video you think has me in it. Sorry not sorry.
With all my heart!
Joan T. Warren
P.S. My publishing company is getting a website, too. It’s not finished as of today, but will soon be another way we’ll share health with the world. It’s called A Book to Grow On, LLC. Let me know if you find it in WordPress!
So many of us here, who follow each other’s blogs, are writers who want to publish. Others are writers who just want a place to express, create, share and sometimes just vent.
I’m both. I’ve enjoyed times here when I’ve been very active on WordPress. I’ve taken breaks and focused more on other things, including personal writing. Around 2010, a concept for a novel twinkled my eye. I set out on the journey, and the journey took so many more years than anticipated. But folks, it’s almost ready!
With only a couple of chapters left of the first draft, this thing is a monster! If I were to format it for your basic paperback, it would be nearly a thousand pages. That’s too big! Who wants to read a book that thick? I usually won’t. So, soon I’ll approach blue-pencil time. Time to edit. Cut. Rearrange. Re-phrase. Clean it up.
I’m turning to you, my fellow bloggers and readers. How have you managed parting with your treasured paragraphs? How have you ensured your books are concise and on point, while also richly laced with delights for the senses? Have you paid beta-readers? Have you paid editors? Do you have family who can be that honest with you about what needs to change? How soon before publishing did you start your pre-release marketing strategies?
Please tell me your experiences rather than your advice. That’s what I’m after. Thanks for following, and thanks for sharing your comments and experiences!
You can help me decide! Here are a few shorter sentences that I’m developing to help guide revision of the upcoming novel, The Bent Tree Path. Here’s your chance to weigh in! Add, subtract, edit, suggest, negate. . . be involved.
A mission statement for a fiction novel helps the self-editing process. It serves as a filter to revise each scene and chapter: if they don’t significantly support the mission, they don’t belong.
The original mission statement draft, shared last week, was nearly the size of one of Ernest Hemingway’s paragraphs! Now it’s time to simplify. Which of these do you like the best?
Interplay stories of ancestral history with modern life to highlight the importance of, and a pathway toward, healthy relationships with God, self, others, and the earth.
Reveal the secrets of generations of women who grew stronger as they overcame oppression and abuse.
Create a path for future generations to find their way through challenges.
Show how generations effect one another; each personal choice bearing on future generations.
essentially the same, though drawn in diverse ways.
until at last
they reach the sea.
again
the two are one
in unity.
the world,
enfolded,
molded,
cleansed and moistened-
life
entrusted
here
so lovingly.
-Joan T Warren
This free-style prose flowed from my mind and fingertips tonight as thoughts I’ve been pondering for months–thoughts of sadness and turmoil over our polarization as a country, which is torn between left and right political views and personalities, thoughts of the hope for unity and love rising up, embracing diversity, thoughts of value and respect for all living things, born and unborn, bound and free, rich and poor, faithful and disdainful, wild and tame–all came together in the imagery of the water cycle, in what I perceive to be a love-gift from our maker.
May we care for our planet, and may we care for each other: Republican and Democrat, Independent, Green, Black, Blue, Whatever. May we care for each other whether behind walls or by reaching out. May we care for each other whether we feel a need to set personal boundaries and draw lines or whether we feel we’ve been ostracized, abused or neglected by someone’s boundaries or lines. May we care for each other whether worried about losing rights for equality and choice or to bear arms. May we care for each other whether we trace our ancestral culture to Isaac or Ishmael, to Sitting Bull, Dalai Lama, Peter the Great or Henry the 8th. May we do so without having to face a common foe threatening our existence, forcing us to pull together to fight it. May we care for each other, period.
It’s not like I don’t have plenty to do. Actually, I live in Plenty to Do. I know everyone there.
In the center of Plenty to Do lives a tiny little voice named ‘But.’
But, and her best friends, ‘Lemme,’ ‘Justdothis,’ and ‘Onemorething’ have been nagging me quite a lot lately. In fact, they kept me up too late several times this past week, looking at photos to crop, laughing over background colors and arguing over which WordPress theme would let them get their job done best.
I finally got fed up with their noise and decided, “Why not? Might as well have another!” I went on over to help them out today. I missed lunch and some paperwork of my own, but now maybe I’ll get some sleep.
At least until it’s time to get the next post ready!
Want to see what these gals from the land of Plenty to Do came up with? It’s a brand new blog, a forum for interacting about health, functioning well, recovering from injuries and disabilities, raising children with special needs, and the like. It’s a forum for people–patients, families, therapists, teachers, anyone interested in these things. Here, I’ll be writing more about what I know: Occupational Therapy. Here, I’ll be hosting other bloggers who are therapists, health care professionals, parents of kids with special needs, adults with spouses or parents with special needs, and such! There will be interviews, re-blogs and links to great resources.
Ever get caught up in frustration that there’s just not enough time to write?
Between working full time, homemaking, investigating information we need to write, and a few other significant endeavors, like parenting, many aspiring writers feel they’ve been “tied to the whipping post!”
(Here you may imagine I inserted a video of the Allman Brothes playing the song, “Whipping Post.” Or, you can go to You Tube yourself, leaving me no copyright issues.)
Tired of feeling whipped? Let’s take that WHIP in hand, turn it around, and get cracking!
First, let’s clearly identify the factors that WHIP us, ie., detract from our writing time:
W is for working! While some writers are fully financed by someone or something, most of us have to work full-time to keep that ever-so-important roof over our heads and food in our bellies! Read the rest of this entry →
You may have heard of three dimensional thinking; considering past, present and future. As we close out 2014, and welcome the new year, I’d like to propose we consider not just 3-D thinking, but four dimensional thinking as well.
I wait for no one
I am a-wastin’
You cannot stop me
I will tell
I am an illusion
I keep on slippin’ into the future
Procrastination is my thief
If you enjoy wasting me, you will not waste me
I am an equal-opportunity employer
You can’t save me to spend me on another day
If you want me, you must make me
I change things
I am too slow for those who wait,
Too swift for those who fear,
Too long for those who grieve,
Too short for those who rejoice,
But for those who love,
I am eternity
I am the most valuable thing a man can spend
I am the coin of your life
Come spend a little with me
I am what keeps everything from happening at once
I have a wonderful way to show you what really matters
I am the clarity for seeing right and wrong
There is a place for me
I’m of the essence
I heal all wounds
I have been kind to thee
There is one of me for every purpose under heaven
I have no dominion over love
I will explain
I am on your side
You had the me of your life
I go on
I am time
I am up,
Time to go.
This, the ultimate in plagarism, a group of sayings related to time, by various famous quippers and long-forgotten cliche-makers, supplemented and arranged by yours truly, to honor my friend, who is ever precious, present, and elusive at once.
I could have built a …
Rainbow
Of the neatly folded laundry,
Or a tower made of
Dishes stacked in gleaming
Rows and columns.
I could have built a
Mansion,
Straightened cupboards,
Cleaned out closets–
Put toilet paper in the bathrooms,
Straighten towels and changed the lightbulbs.
I could have built a
Grand museum–
Carved a sculpture, worked the clay,
Or a masterpiece on canvas
Wielded paintbrush,
Seized the day!
I could have built a
Mighty enterprise,
Just by tackling my desk-work!
Or created global networks
On my twitter, blog or Facebook.
I could have built a
Perfect woman~
Washed my hair
And put on makeup. . .
Or at least a fitness model,
Walked the block and practiced yoga.
I could have built a
Three-course dinner,
Made the kitchen counters glow;
Or at least brewed gourmet coffee–
Drizzled caramel on the top,
Put my feet up, watched my show.
But you came in through the door, dear;
With your face so sweetly shining,
And your love so pure and true–
All I did was spend this hour
Hanging out, enjoying you.
Joan T. Warren
Many thanks to Girl in the Hat for a very creative weekly writing challenge: to write a list, then let it flow and change as it desired. This poem began as a list of things I put off to respond to blog writing challenges! It morphed nicely into something rather fun, uplifting, and, hopefully, something we can all relate to. To see other writers’ responses to her challenge, visit WordPress’ Weekly Writing Challenge.
Something from WordPress arrived in my notifications box today!
Borrowed from a website that borrowed from . . .
Excited (in the style of Ralphie, opening his package from the Lil’ Orphan Annie Radio Show), my heart raced. Could it be? Freshly pressed?
The highly coveted Freshly Pressed Award, in my box?
But, alas, it was just a little congrats for one year blogging.
Ditto. . .
It’s okay, though, WordPress, I do appreciate you remembering our special day. Now that I’m over the initial let-down, I think it was really nice of you. It has been a good year together.
A year ago today, you helped me publish my first blog post. Wading through the countless themes, layouts and options, we put together a pretty good start.
During the year, I learned a few things. I found that there are some excellent people all over the world who participate in WordPress blogging. A few became fast friends, as we enjoyed reading one another’s posts and commenting in supportive dialogue. I have new friends in Scotland, Canada, and across America. I’ve had visitors from nearly every country! All this without annoyance from over 14,000 spammers that Akismet blocked for me.
This is a snapshot of my all-time visits. The list of countries is three times longer than would fit!
I’ve seen reader interest wane in the face of serious and lengthy posts. I’ve caught a few waves of new likes and follows from brief and light-weight posts. I’ve played with some blog-building strategies suggested by overnight-success bloggers. Oh, and I almost forgot, published 60 posts. Not bad for a full-time professional with a second full-time job (family).
In the beginning, I heard that publishers want new writers who can boast a platform of 10-15,000 followers. “You can build that in a year while you write your book,” one author told me.
It’s been a year. I’ve missed a lot of sleep! I’ve built a platform of a whopping 200-something followers. Few ever comment (come on, people, it’s lonely without conversation!). I’ve written only about a tenth (if that) of my book. I don’t feel too successful on this one-year anniversary, dear WordPress.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not blaming you. I’m just saying, it isn’t what I thought. Just like in marriage; there is the honeymoon stage, then comes disillusionment. To make a life-long success, couples must get through these phases to real love.
I still hope to finish my book, to live to see it published, and then maybe another after that. Not just for fun, but to make some (albeit small) difference in the world, one that will outlive me.
Whether I’ll need to build a sizable platform or not, I don’t know. What I do know is, I’m not wasting my time here (well, maybe a little!). I’m learning to write better. I’m learning about others, what they see and have to say. I’m learning plenty about what doesn’t work. And, it’s pretty fun.
So, if you want to hang out another year or so, WordPress, I’m game. Do you have an iron, though? I could really use some fresh-pressing; I’m starting to get wrinkled.
Fear has roots with underground runners! Just when I think I’ve pulled the biggest, up crops another branch. I pull it, and off of that one, a myriad others, in all directions.
As a young adult, I realized I was a people-pleaser. I wanted people to like me, to approve of me, and for things to be peaceful, no conflict.
I dug into the matter. “There are weeds in this garden, Lord, help me pull them out by the roots and let your truth replace all the lies I believed!”
“If people get upset, you’re going to get hurt.” Yank. “I will wipe away your tears, bind up your wounds. A tender shoot I will not break.” (Ah).
“It’s all your fault!” Yank. “You were a child when you learned this, it was not your fault. Let me show you instead what is your responsibility now. . .” (Wha?)
“If you’re good, nothing bad will happen, so you must be bad because bad things happened.” Yank. “Bad things happen, regardless; look what happened to my Son.” (Oh).
One root led to another, until, looking up at the garden, it was disheveled. Some roots broke off, leaving tiny pieces and hidden sections that sprouted back up later.
“You’re a mess, you’ll never get this done.” Yank. “Let my Spirit guide you; I will send rain to loosen the soil, then the roots will give more easily. You are already perfect in my eyes, so don’t worry about it so much. As a matter of fact, how about you hand me those gloves and let me be the gardener now?” (Oh, okay).
That was over twenty years ago.
Gradually I got free. Free to say yes or no. Free to confront or let go. Free to choose according to what rang true in my gut instead of whatever others said. Free to live with the consequences, positive and negative, of my own choices. Free to learn and grow as a loved child would.
Fear still crops up, though. Just today I read a blog-friend’s post on fear and realized some new ones to take to the Gardener:
This article has absolutely nothing to do with Justin Beiber, shown here turning himself into police on Jan 30, 2014, courtesy of abcnews.com
All the talk about what the Biebster is doing wrong again. . . instead of that, I am going to talk about the Liebster!
Khana, of khanasweb.com, was awesome enough to give me the Liebster Award nomination. This award honors quality blogs that have less than 200 followers. I guess she feels I qualify on quality, and my stats tell me I do on the last! As of today, 168 extremely insightful, astute and intelligent people follow this blog! It will be interesting to see if participating in this award will add to that number, but I’ll keep writing even if just for you wonderful 168!
In order to comply with the nomination, though, I need to answer Khana’s ten questions–hers, not someone’s who started it 10,000 posts ago! I decided to turn them about and give them to you from #10, countdown fashion, to #1. After you get through this incredibly interesting material, you will find links to those I’d like to pass the nomination on to, and the ten challenging questions I thought would be great to know about them.
Here goes!
10. Describe yourself in a Haiku. (A three line verse of seventeen syllables, traditionally five, seven, five, but this is flexible).
Simple yet complex
Compassionate yet boundaried
Gentle, wild and true
Did that tell you much? Well, it’s a start. Let’s jump into the weightier questions–
But, alas, it was just a little congrats for one year blogging.
Khana, of 
Joan T. Warren: Heart to Heart 